Reporting Life

The Importance of Sameness

"A good margarita, a good red wine, I like expensive alcohol, but not a lot of it. I don't like to throw up." ~ Denise Richards

When I meet someone new or make new friends, I have a hard time telling if they are the types of people who engage in self-destructive behavior.  I can't tell if someone is an alcoholic or not.  Perhaps Denise Richards and I share this in common.  I have some uncles that vaguely resemble Charlie Sheen.

As a little girl I was surrounded by people who drank.  I thought I was part of a "fun" family.  We always had people over, barbecues, vacationed for a month every year visiting family and friends, traveling, laughter, music, jokes, singing, dancing, playing volleyball, baseball, just playing in the backyard with my brothers and cousins and friends.  

I have a lot of good memories growing up and I love my family, but there was, and still is, that underlying uneasiness, that question in the back of your mind that you develop as a kid that, at any moment, anyone can transform into an asshole.

As I got older I realized that unhappy people cope with life by drinking alcohol.  That alcoholics are not fun.  If you're a jerk sober, you're an even bigger prick when you're drunk.  Drunks are selfish, but they think they are fun to be around, and they judge others for not being "fun".  You grow up with a distorted view of what "fun" is.

I am so glad I figured this out.  If you're a kid whose parents are drinkers, you can feel better now.  It's not you that is the problem.  Your parents are just drunk assholes.  You can be free now to discover your true self.

FATHER:  The clearest memory I have of my father growing up is of him sleeping on the couch and snoring so loud that I couldn't hear the TV.  Later, I realized it was because most nights he was finishing off a six-pack after downing a few shots, so he slept a lot.

MOTHER:  My mother wasn't a big drinker, mostly wine every night before dinner.  The clearest memory I have of my mother growing up is of her, when we were alone, just going into the back bedroom and crying all day by herself.  In a way, that was a blessing.  I'm really good at keeping myself entertained and I'm fine being alone.  

The problem is this created a lack of good judgment.  I have a hard time deciphering good people from bad people.  I work on this every day.  I keep my distance now from a lot of people, whereas before, I was friends with everybody I knew.

I didn't realize my lack of good judgment until very recently.  I thought I had it all figured out.  I try to be nothing like my parents, but that only works in controlling my own behavior.  I still attract alcoholics.

There is a day in particular that comes to mind.  I had a deposition that day, two attorneys and one witness.  I smelled really bad that day, or at least I think I must have smelled.  I just remember being really self-conscious about my own body odor.  I was also afraid of falling asleep in the middle of the deposition and my head hitting the table in front of me.

I know everyone has days like this, or has had a day like this; right?  This is normal.

I was out the night before with about five or six other court reporters just bar-hopping and hanging out wherever with whomever.  I did not realize I was assigned an 8:00 a.m. job the next morning until it was too late.  By the time I heard the message, we were all liquored-up, running around like we owned every place we went to and not giving a shit about anything, except having a great time.

I crashed in our offices.  5:00 or 6:00 a.m. rolls around, and there just isn't enough time to go home, shower and change, and take the train back into town.  No stores are open to even buy anything to wear.

So there I am at the deposition sitting in my clothes from the night before, not even a splash of water on my face, not a toothbrush in site, day-old makeup crusting my eyes.  I think "brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack" would have been better than what was going on in my mouth that morning.

The deposition starts and it took no more than 30 seconds before I start the dreaded head-bob.  

So I did what any court reporter would do in this situation.  I began reciting, in my head, the Court Reporter's Prayer.  The Court Reporter's Prayer takes many forms depending on the situation.  Some reporters have to be somewhere later in the day, they have an appointment or they have to pick up their kids.

That day, my Court Reporter's Prayer went something like this:  

"Dear God, if there is a God, please let this job be short.  I promise to NEVER do this again.  I will NEVER drink again of the devil's poison that is Ketel and club soda with a wedge of lime.  I will NEVER stay out all night again on a work night.  Please, please let this deposition be short, preferably 5 minutes.  I promise to be a better person if you will end this deposition right NOW.  Please don't let this job last all day, I beg of you, dear Lord in heaven, please, please, please...Amen...please let it be over...now...Amen...please." 

It must have been obvious that something was wrong with me, but no one said anything! No one even noticed!  I was drifting in and out of consciousness, head rolling, eyes rolling, like Linda Blair from The Exorcist.

  

By 8:30 I was asking for a break.  I usually never have to ask for a break.  I'm always good about waiting until everyone is ready for a break, but not that day.

I went to the restroom, paced around a bit to get the blood flowing.  This is one of those times where coffee would have done absolutely nothing.  It would've been like drinking plain water.

I just said a few more prayers and went back in.  I'm thinking I'll just have to keep asking for breaks for the rest of the day and risk having them complain to my office about the psycho court reporter they got who kept taking breaks who smelled like death.

That day, God answered my prayers.  We were done by 9:00 a.m.  That one-hour deposition felt like 16 hours.  

But it gets better...or weirder...

After it was all over, the one attorney did say something.  He asked if I had allergies or had taken allergy medicine.  I told him I just had a stressful night and didn't sleep much.

Maybe they did notice...

I leave the office, get down to the lobby, and that same attorney is waiting for me.  I can't explain it.  He wanted to chat or hang out.  I have no idea.  I'm guessing he could tell exactly what was wrong with me and maybe he thought I was some kind of party-girl, which I assure you, I am not.  I have my rare moments, but I'm pretty tame.  I like to read and do things that most people might find boring.

He must have seen my vulnerability, or perhaps he saw some commonality that we shared.  Maybe he was an alcoholic and thought he found his soul-mate alcoholic.  Who knows.  I just wanted to get the hell out of there and get home.

What I wanted was a shower and my bed.

I could tell he liked me for whatever reason.  This is when I realized that drunks attract other drunks.  This is also when I realized how people function at their jobs as alcoholics.

It took a few more episodes like that before I realized I don't want to drink.  I don't want to be like that.  I don't want to be like them...the alcoholics.

Penelope Trunk talks about how being likable can have an impact on whether people think you are competent in your job.  She talks about the importance of social skills and their effects on your career.  You need commonality.  You can't just be likable.  People have to see something they have in common with you.  I've decided drinking is not going to be that thing.

The advice I've gotten over the years has been that it's more important to be liked than to be skilled.  Finding things in common with people can be more beneficial to your career than anything else because businesses are built on relationships, not skill.

We all have something in common.  Sometimes just being human, being vulnerable, and not being perfect is just enough to get someones attention, but from what I've seen in my life, drinking doesn't attract successful people.  It only attracts other drinkers.

I don't "drink" anymore.  I have drinks with dinner maybe once a week, if that.  Dinner gathers people together and helps you to connect.  You have to relate to people on a human level first if you want to succeed on a professional level.

As kids we learn our social skills from adults, from our parents and the people our parents surround themselves with.  If you're struggling in work or in your personal life, look at your childhood.  Look at how you relate to other people.  Decide for yourself what you need to change.  Look for people who you want to be like.  You can choose who you want to emulate.  

Success takes many forms.  Make sure your models for success aren't veiled by the ghosts from your past.

Finding Answers That Move You

"Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that."  ~Norman Vincent Peale

The Answer to "What's next?" should be a call to action.  It should be inspiring and motivating. It should move you.  It should stir something inside that's positive; not dreadful.

We ask ourselves questions all day long:  Should I quit my job?  Should I exercise today?  Should I write a book?  Should I edit for an hour?  Should I look into a new career?  Should I take a nap?  Should I work this weekend?  Should I eat this triple chocolate brownie?

Some of us are asking even bigger questions:  Is what I'm doing really what I want?   Who am I?  What am I really capable of?

None of the answers we come up with are written in stone, yet people are still afraid to try, as if the risk is too great.  Perhaps they fear success and everything that comes with it, or perhaps, instead of embracing this moment for what it is, enjoying the simple things and being grateful, they're using up their energy on living moment by moment swimming in negativity, leaving themselves with nothingness.

The advantage that successful people have is they know how to answer the big questions without letting fear stop them.  They take risks.  They learn and they're not afraid to work at it.  They keep answering "What's next?" over and over again until they've built something spectacular, or maybe just a happy, peaceful life where what's next is everything they want and nothing more.

The questions don't need to be inspiring, but the answers need to be motivating if you want to get the life you desire.  You must desire the answer.  Inspiration lives in the answers, not the questions.  The answers come from within you. 

If you don't know yourself very well, if you don't know what inspires you or what lights your fire, then the first step is creating answers that move you to try new things until something clicks.  You will know the light-bulb moment when it happens.  The only way to find that moment is to try.

You can still work full time and dabble on the side and experiment.  It doesn't have to be life-changing over night.  Dramatic change takes time, but you will enjoy the journey more if you're taking small, fun steps in new directions.  Start by accomplishing small, everyday tasks in new, fun and exciting ways.  Round it out by delegating things you don't enjoy and are holding you back from trying new things.

For me, I enjoy following my method of editing my jobs.  It's fun for me, and then I have someone else listen to the audio and read everything word for word.  After that, if necessary, I have someone proofread or I'll do it myself depending on my mood.  I delegate what I dislike and make time for what I enjoy.

The idea is to create a healthy space in your life where you can research something new.  Start Googling careers or hobbies or anything that you think might create a spark, and then take a step in that direction.

Sometimes it takes major life changes or a great loss to realize what's important to you and the fact that you need to prioritize and refocus your energy.   I realized I was destined to learn this lesson in self-awareness when I started working with a new company and found myself becoming increasingly un-inspired.  I needed to discover how to move forward, and I knew the answers were within me, so I started a blog to dig deeper and have a place to share my thoughts. 

I always enjoyed reading and writing, so it was a fairly logical next step.  It was a motivating answer for me to start writing what I've been thinking, and it's been working.  I've found something within myself that has renewed my love for my work, and even better still, I've renewed my love for my life.

At first I was afraid of what people would think.  I faced that fear by visiting other blogs and trying to leave thoughtful or opinionated comments and seeing if there was any reaction.  Most of the feedback was positive.  Some people disagreed with my views.  More importantly, I survived and didn't die of embarrassment.

If you're looking for validation from other people as motivation, you will fail.  Some people will like you and some people will not.  Relying on their opinions to steer your life will just lead you to a path of people-pleasing, stress and self-hatred. 

If you're looking at your bank account for motivation, you will fail.  It doesn't matter how big or small the number is if you're feeling bad about yourself and the balance of your life.  

There is no flash of inspiration making its way toward you.  There is only you and how you feel about yourself at this moment.  How you feel about yourself is what colors every experience.  It colors your perception of what you are reading right now.  It also colors your perception of other people which, in turn, colors their perception of you.

You have choices.  How you are feeling about those choices is going to determine your level of effort.  Passion doesn't come from outside sources.  You put passion into the things you do.  Cultivating love within yourself will help you make the best decisions.

The only way to reap any benefits is to choose, try and learn.  As the saying goes, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again."  Try from a place of love.  What you are thinking and feeling about your circumstances and yourself will define who you will become. 

All self-help books can be narrowed down to one simple question because the purpose of self-help is to keep you moving in a positive direction.  The simplicity of this might be disappointing for some, but nevertheless, it's true.  The ultimate question they are trying to help you answer is  "What's next?"  How you feel in the present moment, now, is what will determine your answer.

The ANSWER should move you.

 If you're not motivated by the answer, then you need to pick a new answer until you find one that motivates you to actually move.

There is no right or wrong, but directing your efforts to help someone else can be a great starting point.  Just follow your gut.  It could be something small or big.  The only requirement when answering that question is that you feel good about the answer and you're not harming anyone else.

If your goal is to start living a passionate life with purpose, look no further.  You can start doing that right now because being passionate is a way of thinking and doing. You can love what you're doing by immersing yourself in learning everything there is to know about your current job and interests.  Make it your purpose to learn and thrive.

If you want to change jobs or your career, if you want to exercise and eat right, if you're battling depression or alcohol and drug abuse, if you're faced with people and things you can't control, you can decide to try to control yourself and your actions and, quite simply, your next move.  Make it your purpose to decide your next positive step right now.

Keep taking small steps and never stop answering "What's next?"  Discover who you are in the process of doing.  Be honest with yourself and choose wisely.

Choosing answers that benefit others is a magical first step.

Enjoy making mistakes.  The more you stumble, the more you learn.

You can move forward or stand still.  It's your choice.  Embrace this moment and ask yourself... What's next?

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Need more help?

In Successful Living I talk about the importance of an achievement mindset to jumpstart your day and shape your life. 

In The Gift of Encouragement I talk about how, if you give encouragement to others, you'll feel encouraged yourself.

In Small Businesses Changing the World I talk about how finding answers that benefit society as a whole might pave the way to a more successful future, instead of looking for others to "save" you.

Small Businesses Changing the World

I'm going to say this right up front.  I know very little about contracting with big, nationwide court reporting agencies.

Martin H. Block, Ph.D., who wrote Thoughts on NCRA’S Expanded Focus on Third-Party Contracting, sounds like an extremely intelligent individual.  

I, on the other hand, am not as informed.  I'm really not that interested.  I post things like Love In Quotes, which required no thought on my part.  I was feeling warm and squishy so I posted love quotes.

So I, like any good magician, am going to attempt to expound on one of the very real issues facing smaller court reporting firms today, which is competing with bigger firms and contracting, and then I am going to attempt to finish off with a solution to the problem (which can be found below under "Abracadabra").

Good stuff.  Let's get started.

I know small firms are either struggling and closing up shop, or being bought out by bigger firms.  I would think, if your agency is not getting any offers to be bought by a larger firm, this would be all the more distressing .  It's like mom-and-pop stores competing with Walmart.  If Walmart doesn't want your property to build a store, they will build next-door.  Good luck with that.

It seems to me a monopoly is being created by the bigger firms.  Unless the business practices of those entities are harming consumers or the general public with, say, charging too much for services and being the only ones providing those services, then they aren't doing anything illegal and the government will not step in.

I need to break this down in a way that is easier for me to understand, so I'm going to try to relate with some personal experience.

I worked at a very small firm for many years.  Most court reporters just want the agency to give them work.  They just want to do their job and be done with it.  They have lives that don't solely revolve around work.  Great!  Wonderful!  Kudos!

I, on the other hand, never had children of my own.  My circumstances were different.  My goal at this little firm was to create my own small list of clients.  The firm would give me better work and keep me busy when my clients weren't on the schedule.  

I also started offering to everyone, not just my clients, things that no other court reporters would offer, like free rough drafts for larger cases, or free realtime for the ordering attorney, or free expedited service for multi-copy jobs, just little perks to ensure some future requests for my services.  It's not my fault if other reporters aren't capable or willing to do the same thing.  I do what I do, and I do it well.

All in all, my activities weren't hurting anyone else.  I'm just one person.  I was not over-charging or under-charging anyone.  I was not trying to eliminate the competition or starve out other reporters.

Now, let's amplify this.  The big firms are funneling in tons of work.

1.  They're providing more services, including services that many reporters are not willing to provide, things like audio-synched transcripts.  It's one-stop shopping, and there are no limits to what they can provide.

2.  Some are providing more affordable pricing.

3.  Some are charging more, but offering more with their standard orders.

4.  Attorneys can do everything online, from scheduling to accessing transcripts and exhibits.  They never have to deal with a human if they don't want to, except for the court reporters at the deps.

5.  They're negotiating package deals for bigger cases.  If the attorneys schedule all 50 depositions with one agency, then the court reporting firm can charge a more competitive price.  The attorneys can find all of the transcripts and exhibits in one place on their web site.

6.  They aren't sacrificing the most important aspect of our job, which is impartiality, because they have separated litigation services from court reporting services.  They have specific employees providing specific services without any cross-contamination.

There is nothing stopping smaller firms from doing the same exact things.  The problem is smaller firms don't have the resources that larger firms do, so they struggle to cover jobs and maintain reliability and consistency in their work product.  Smaller firms call other firms to help them cover things that they can't cover.

Abracadabra....the solution:

1.  Smaller firms can try to prove that the larger firms are doing something illegal.  Try to prove their business practices are harming the consumer and killing fair competition.

2.  Better still, smaller firms can try to step up their game and provide everything the larger firms are providing.  It's a challenge to provide all those services without looking biased to the clients.  Create separate litigation support firms, like James DeCrescenzo is doing.  He is offering everything under the sun, and he's never been afraid to be a leader in technology.

3.  Smaller firms can join together, create some form of association or union, decide standard prices and make pricing known to the public.  Create a standard pay scale for all court reporters.  You will become all the more appealing to attorneys who believe in full disclosure, and reporters will trust you and want to take your work.

Like I said, my knowledge is limited, but I've always been willing to put up or shut up.  I think that's the real heart of the issue.  You have to be willing to invoke change not just for your own benefit, but for the benefit of everything and everyone involved in court reporting.

NCRA can't help you, because complaining and expecting government help will not fix what is truly wrong with our field today.

You have to be the change you want to see.

How To Value Things That Don't Matter

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” ~Barbara DeAngelis

 

Obtaining Certification and being a Notary Public.... Neither are required by law for court reporters.  So why get them?

Attorneys are officers of the court.  Their mere presence and agreement is enough to validate your swearing in of the witness.  So you don't need a notary, technically, in any state.

All the reporters that I know that passed the RPR let it lapse as soon as they passed it.  All they wanted was to be able to say they passed it.  Your association makes money from the certification, but there is no law, in any state, that says you need to be certified.

Some state-appointed official positions require certification, but that's it.  A lot of reporters use certification as a marketing tool and I commend them for that.  At least they've created a reason to spend money on certification.

As far as digital reporters are concerned, why even get certified?  You're not producing an instant translation.  I can understand obtaining your notary because it simplifies things so you can swear in witnesses, but why get certified?  You're making less money than stenographers who produce a live feed.  Save your money.

So how do you place value in things that don't matter?  How do you motivate yourself to put time and energy into something that is not required in the field you're in?

1.  Being held accountable by someone else:  If you're not getting work through an agency, then this won't apply to you.  You can basically do whatever you want, and I know reporters who are doing just that and are very successful.

The notary pictured above is one of my notaries and it's expired.  I'm not taking any work in that particular state right now.  The agency won't give me any work until it is renewed.  I have 3 other notaries, but they aren't doing me much good because the reporters in those states will get the work first. 

So if you're getting work through an agency, make sure your notaries are all valid.  It does help to have more than one notary.  Just make sure you're willing to travel.  You can apply for most notaries on line.

2.  Having Priorities, Values and Principles:  I value my job.  I have strong principles and work ethic.  My job is what sustains my life.  I need clothes on my back, a roof over my head, and food.  If I want to enjoy any of the other added benefits that life has to offer, then exercising strong work ethic and being grateful for what I have is the only way to bring more of those things to me and the people I love.

When you have priorities and value them, you start to live by certain standards you set for yourself.  You surround yourself with people that have the same ethics.  You become an example to other people, especially your kids.  Instead of living with a victim mentality, you succeed.  So make a list of priorities.  Live by your values and principles, and add meaning to everything you're doing.

3.  Becoming Great at Everything You Do:  There is a certain amount of fulfillment you get when you do things that will contribute to your becoming great.  Getting certified is a way to add meaning to your job, and the process involved is a very enriching experience and you won't regret it.  If you pass, you will feel incredible.

Attending seminars is also a great way to light up your career path.  I recently spent 4 days with Anita Paul Johnston at her realtime seminar.  I got to connect with other reporters and learned things that would improve my skills.  Even if I don't apply half of what I learned, just knowing I tried something new is enough to feel better about what I'm doing.

I know that things won't improve or be meaningful unless I set the bar myself and try to reach it.  Even if I fail, at least now I know what it took to get as far as I have.  I can only start where I am, and I made it this far by knowing where I came from. 

The only limits that exist are the ones we set for ourselves.

Value yourself and keep setting the bar higher.  You will break through the barriers that held others back, and make the world a better place.

The Forbidden

If my blog goes missing after this post, it means someone is trying to shut me down.

It is not illegal for me to tell you what I'm about to tell you.

It is not "price fixing" or whatever other BS you've heard mentioned on the message boards about sharing page rates.

In fact, the pricing for court reporting agencies, both billed to attorneys and paid to court reporters, is so random that it would be impossible for me to even share real specifics with you.  It differs from job to job and from reporter to reporter.

That's why they don't want us talking to each other in open forums.  If we start sharing page rates and revealing these "secrets", it would change court reporting and the way we do business forever.  It would actually become fair... *gasp*

Anyone who doesn't approve of what I'm about to share can bite me, or correct me in the comments.

One of the reasons why I wanted to accumulate some clients of my own in the past is because I wanted to see their bills.  So if you want to know how I came to this information, that's how.  I just asked, and some clients are happy to provide the info.  Most of this is common knowledge anyway.

Basically, agencies deal with percentages...not page rates as we are all led to believe.

Reporters get paid anywhere between 30% and 60% of what gets billed to the clients.

Asbestos reporters are getting closer to 25% of what is getting billed to clients.  

Shocked?

The reason why asbestos reporters only get 25% of what is billed out is because those cases were so hugely humongous and the money was that crazy good.  There is still asbestos work out there, just not as much, and it's not as good as it used to be.

O&1 Page rates for court reporters taking agency work range anywhere from $3.25 to $4.25 per page. 

Copy rates for court reporters taking agency work range anywhere from $1.10 to $1.50 per page.

Some reporters ask for a "per-job minimum", meaning  they ask for at least $500 per job no matter what it is.

Some reporters ask for the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd most lucrative job on the schedule every day.

Some are getting a salary in addition to page rate.  Some are getting an hourly rate in addition to page rate.

Those are just some examples.  The list is endless of the deals being made out there.  It all depends on what you ask for when you go in and negotiate with the agency.  The agencies play with the percentages and they make their money.

So for attorneys and court reporters dealing with agencies, keep this in mind...it's all in the percentages...not the page rates.

Hungry or Successful?

“Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”

~ Robert Fulghum

"Be hungry to work":   Depending on how you interpret it, this could be the worst advice we could ever give anyone.

An abundance mindset is based on gratitude for what you have and not taking it for granted, therefore attracting more of what you desire and are grateful for. 

There's a big difference between living and working with passion, and living and working always chasing to satisfy hunger.

In a previous post, Be Great Anyway, I told you how I've started taking work for a large nationwide court reporting firm and have subsequently lost almost all of my clients in the process.  That's an epic fail, although I don't regret my decision.  I'm working, but I wouldn't call it a success.

I asked this question on Twitter:
 And I got some great responses:  Keep your skills up and don't get too comfortable taking certain types of work; always challenge yourself and be professional; and never stop wanting and desiring to achieve.  We should all follow this advice.

What's even more interesting is the answers I didn't get:  Claw someone else's eyes out to get more work, or be the squeaky wheel (we've all heard that one), or beg and kiss someone's ass for 20 years.  If they retire or move on, you're back to square one.

So what kind of "hungry" are we really talking about here?  Steve Jobs said, "Stay hungry. Stay foolish."  This could be a recipe for disaster if you don't know what's important to you or what your goals are or what truly makes you happy.

You could spend the rest of your life chasing after success due to hunger, instead of reaping the benefits of a life well-lived  through a series of satisfying achievements. 

Let's say an agency is giving you tons of work, but you don't have time to exercise, read, eat healthy, meditate or pray, or spend time with your loved ones.  That doesn't sound like success.  (btw:  If this is you, get a scopist.)

On the other hand, if you're taking great care of yourself and your relationships, yet you're struggling to tackle that 260-page job sitting on your desk and you're missing every deadline, that's not good either.

What I truly hunger for is balance.  What I strive for is success in all aspects of my life.  So what I need is a game plan.

1.  Exercise:  This includes sex because both keep you mentally and physically healthy.  If you don't use it, you lose it as you get older.  Here are  The 7 Benefits of Regular Exercise by the Mayo Clinic.  I'm going to devote 20 to 30 minutes, minimum, daily for this category.

2.  Eat Small Healthy Meals:  I have to do some extra planning for this one and make sure I always have fresh fruits and vegetables in my house, and absolutely no junk.  I don't eat anything bigger than my fist 3 or 4 times a day.

I found this article in the New York Times, The Claim: Eat Six Small Meals a Day Instead of Three Big Ones.  For me, 3 or 4 meals works better.

3.  Read & Write:  Right now on my Kindle I have The Dip by Seth Godin, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, On Writing by Stephen King, and Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen.  I'll assign 1 hour before bed every night for reading.  Writing I do every chance I get, but I'd like to write 1 or 2 blog posts a week because I'm enjoying this so much.  There's something therapeutic about it.

4.  Work: Sheeesh.... work....  It's always there, and I love what I do, but work can take over my whole life if I let it.  I can be a bit of a workaholic.  I'm actually cutting down on this one to achieve some balance and sending my scopist everything whenever possible.

Here's my post about being more efficient when editing transcripts and lightening your workload by using a scopist.

5.  Jack:  That's my boyfriend.  That's not his real name, of course.  We live together and we have his 2 boys with us half the time.  He wants his identity and his children's identity protected, which is completely understandable.  Spending real quality time with each other is the key to keeping our relationship solid.  We do as much together as we possibly can and always stay connected.

Here are 10 Keys to a Successful Romantic Relationship from Lifehack.

6.  Family and Friends:  My life has changed a lot in the last several years.  It's been difficult keeping in touch with everyone the way I would like, and it's also difficult for people to relate to you after you've changed so much.  I've decided to work a little less and devote one evening a week to reconnecting with people I've lost touch with, and spending more time with my family.  Everyone is going through changes; not just me.  So we have to meet each other halfway.

The one thing that keeps it all in perspective is gratitude.  An open loving heart and being grateful for everything you've got will keep you from doing things that jeopardize what you value most.  Define your own meaning of success, and never be hungry again.